Dancing Pills
by Valkiria
Summary: Tessai always tries to get Urahara to eat some pills and test them. But what happens in they don't know what they do? Read and find out! Rated K to be sure
1. Chapter 1

**Sora:** Hello, hello! Another weird one from me!

**Renée:** -mutters- They always are.

**Sora:** Oh, be quiet you, they are not. And at least you're not in this one.

**Renée:** That would be because I'm not in Bleach.

**Sora:** Bah, whatever. Anyway, this story is something a friend and I came up with while at LAN, since we were bored, and had had a lot of sugar and coke. Hope you enjoy

**Disclaimer:** I, in no way own Bleach, or eBay. Which sucks, but not really all I can do about it. –shrugs-

**And P.S.** My favourite character is Urahara Kisuke. Even though this is kinda mean, I still had fun writing it.

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**Dancing Pills**

It was a normal morning at the Urahara store. Or at least, for the moment.

Ururu was out the front sweeping with Jinta, Urahara was sleeping still, and Tessai was sitting out in the front of the store, going through some papers while he waited for the manager to wake up.

A yawn was heard, and Tessai turned his head, spying the sleepy Urahara who had just appeared, his trade-mark, striped hat sitting tilted slightly on his head, his blonde hair and clothes slightly messy after sleep. "Ohayo, Tessai-san," Urahara said, waving his white fan in front of his face and creating a cool breeze, watching the other stand and grin at him, like always.

"Ohayo, Urahara-san," Tessai replied, dipping his head slightly in respect. "Did you sleep well?"

"That I did," Urahara replied, nodding and grinning back. He sat down and proceeded to straighten his clothing, hair and hat, then looked around for Tessai, who'd disappeared all of a sudden. Blinking, the manager looked around, 'Now where did Tessai-san go to?' He wondered, scratching his head in surprise. However, not being all together worried, he let his mind think on something else. A certain friend of his. Urahara sighed, wondering if Yoruichi would be returning soon.

The cat-girl ((no pun intended)) had been gone for a few days now, something to do with training. Urahara sighed again, wishing she'd hurry up and come back. He wanted to ask her about the happenings in Soul Society currently, since she always got plenty of updates from her subordinate, Soi Fon. Of course, it he _really_ wished it, he could probably get the information himself, but then, that wasn't as good as discussing it with Yoruichi.

Urahara lazily continued to wave his fan, until a dark shadow encompassed him. Blinking, he looked at Tessai, who had an evil grin on his face. "Um, Tessai-san…?"

Tessai pulled a tin out from behind his back, the lid partially open. "I got a new item from eBay, Urahara-san," he said, eyes glittering dangerously.

Urahara gulped and began to back away. 'Uh oh, not again,' he thought, paling at the sight of the can. The last time he'd been made to have something Tessai got off the net, he'd been stuck on the toilet for days.

"I'm not sick though Tessai...I don't need medicine," Urahara stated, hoping this would throw the other off.

"Well, this isn't actually medicine. The person selling it said it was great for laughs," Tessai replied.

"Eheh….eheheheh." Urahara turned to bolt, knowing what was about to happen, and not wanting to be a part of the 'test'.

oooooOOOOOooooo

A few minutes (and a few broken items while trying to escape) later, Tessai had successfully force-fed Urahara two of the pills. Grinning in success, the larger man waited to see what was to happen. After all, who wouldn't want to see what Urahara would do, now that he had swallowed the pills?

Coughing a little, and rubbing a sore arm, Urahara pouted and stood up, once again straightening his clothing. Both men waited for a few minutes, but nothing appeared to be happening.

"Well…..that was a let-down," Tessai said half-heartedly. 'And after I went through all that trouble to catch him…'

Just then, Ururu came inside, holding a CD case and blinking. "Manager? Ichigo's sister just came by…She gave me this disc and asked me to put it on. She said it was from Rukia and Ichigo…."

Urahara smiled at the little girl in front of him and took the disc. "Why, thank you Ururu-chan. I best see what this is about, hadn't I?"

He pulled out a stereo from under one of the tables in the room, seemingly unsurprised it was there, unlike the others. Tessai blinked. Since when had the manager had a stereo? Oh well.

Ururu called Jinta to come in, so he could see what was going on as well. Jinta came in, complaining that he'd just been about to hit an awesome pitch, but shut his mouth the instant he said Tessai, not wanting to be reprimanded for not doing his work.

"So what's going on?" Jinta asked, watching Urahara open the stereo and stick the disc in. Having missed the conversation from before-hand, he didn't have a clue as to what was going on.

"Ichigo and Rukia left a CD," Ururu replied, sitting down and staring at the stereo.

There was a click as the stereo was turned on, and the disc inside began to spin.

Urahara turned the volume up, still wondering why they'd been given a CD, rather then either death god simply talking to them. He wouldn't be wondering for long.

As the CD continued to spin, a strange song came out of it. Blinking, all four stared in surprise. What on earth?

They kept listening, until Ururu realized what it was. "It's a dancing song that some kids have," she said, "I think it's called…..Umm…..The chicken dance?" She looked confused and not altogether sure she'd gotten it right.

Clucking was heard and Jinta, Tessai and Ururu turned…..and stared…..For some strange reason, Urahara was standing in the middle of the room, hands bent into the shape of wings and doing the actions for the chicken dance, along with clucking to the music.

"Why is manager clucking like a chicken?" Ururu asked, tilting her head in surprise. It was unusual to say the least.

"I'm not sure. The song seems to have had a strange effect on Urahara-san," Tessai replied, scratching his head and staring in wonder as the manager continued his dance.

The song then changed to the 'Macarena' and Urahara stopped clucking. He instead proceeded to dance to the music, completing each dance as new songs came on.

The last song, 'Nutbush', finally finished and poor Urahara collapsed onto the floor, finally free from whatever had caused him to dance.

Unbeknownst to everyone, the pills that Tessai had forced Urahara to eat, had been the cause.

"That was certainly…..different," Jinta commented, then went back outside, dragging Ururu with him so she would finish sweeping, and he could practice his baseball more.

Tessai shrugged and went to check the stock out the back, leaving Urahara to ponder over what he'd just done, not to mention how embarrassing it was.

He laughed nervously, deciding that it would be best to just go back to bed for now, incase something happened again. Hr didn't even _want_ to think of what might have happened, had Yoruichi seen him.

Retreating into said room, he flopped down onto his futon, pulling the cover over his head. Today had been….interesting.

oooooOOOOOooooo

Far away, back over at Ichigo's house, Ichigo and Rukia were rolling around on the ground, practically in tears from laughter. They'd never expected the trick to go so well!

Ichigo took a deep breath, grinning at Rukia, who was still laughing. He stood up, and sat down on his bed, regaining his composure.

"Those dancing pills of Yoruichi-san's sure worked well," Ichigo commented, still grinning.

Rukia nodded in agreement. "And Tessai-san fell for it too. Oh gosh, that has to have been the funniest thing I've ever seen!"

"They didn't even realize there was a mini camera on the case for the disc, luckily," the orange-haired teenager added.

Rukia nodded. "Yori-san's idea was a good one. Though I bet Urahara-san has no idea about it."

"No, he didn't."

The two jumped as Yoruichi appeared in Ichigo's window frame, in her cat form. She smirked and jumped down onto the bed, "I see the both of you are enjoying yourselves."

The two shinigami nodded. "Thanks again for those pills Yoruichi-san, they worked really well," Rukia said, smiling.

'It was no problem. I'd felt like using them on Urahara for a while, but never really got the chance. Besides, it's much more interesting when there are more people in on the joke," Yoruichi replied, stretching out and yawning. "Though I best go see him now. No doubt he's sulking. He's probably worked it out by now. I have a question though, how'd you get Tessai-kun to get the pills?"

"Oh, that was easy," Ichigo replied, "We used an account on eBay, and from there got him to buy it."

"Ah. Very well." Yoruichi nodded once, then turned to leave. "Hmm…I think I might retrieve those pills off of Tessai-kun, just in case. I think Ura-san has been embarrassed enough for now."

She winked, then jumped out the window, disappearing down the street.

"Well…….What now?" Ichigo said, turning his attention back to Rukia. The other was just about to answer, when her mobile went off. "Looks like a hollow appeared."

Ichigo nodded and pulled out the little keychain that had been given to him by Ukitake, turning into his shinigami form. "Oh well, time to go."

He jumped out the window, running in the direction of the hollow, Rukia following behind him. Looks like there's no rest for Death Gods.

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**Sora:** Well, that's that. What did you think? Weird, stupid, funny? All of that? I don't know. Like I said earlier, was a random idea we came up with.

**Renée:** I don't know if I can watch Bleach the same ever again.

**Sora:** I'm sure you'll live.

Renée: Technically, I'm already dead…..so I can't _live_.

**Sora:** Ah, shut up.

Please Read and Review, thanks


	2. Return of the Dancing Pills

**Sora:** I've been inspired!!

**Renee':** That's a first…

**Sora:** Oh be quiet you. I thought of this in class, and figured I might as well write a sequel, since the first one was all right. Here it is, enjoy all!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach nor to I claim any benefits from this story It's content is purely imaginative, and I hold no rights to anything but the plot idea.

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The events of the 'Dancing Pills' were soon forgotten to those in Karakura Town. They lay in a dusty corner for a while, collecting cobwebs and remaining unloved. Tessai had decided that the pills were too dangerous to use again, even if they were funny.

However, one day the Urahara store had a surprise visit. Well, not so much a surprise visit as a friend coming to say hi. Soi Fon talked with Yoruichi, explaining that she needed some items from the store. Both Yoruichi and Urahara complied to give her such items, as she was in need of them.

Venturing into the back of the store, the young captain of the Special Forces looked around in interest, slightly annoyed that her precious Yoruichi was forced to live in such a place. She held her tongue for once, glaring around the dark room.

Finally spotting what she was looking for, she went and collected them. They were heavier then she expected, and the lid of the box was open. She bumped a shelf and the pills rolled and fell. This was unnoticed by the distracted captain, whom was currently trying not to let a stack of books fall over on top of her.

Yoruichi stuck her head in, blinking at the sound of falling books. Helping Soi Fon to her feet and dusted the disgruntled woman off, she picked up the items that had caused the problem. "Go on ahead Soi Fon," the older of the two said, smiling at Soi Fon.

Back in Soul Society, Yachiru poked at a strange contraption that one of the taichou's had brought back with them, finding the item strange. She grinned, pushing random buttons. Miraculously, she managed to get it playing, and the strange music was both interesting and delightful.

She hugged the boom box, running off to find Kenpachi and Cue Ball to show them her cool new item.

She ran into Soi Fon, who had just returned from Karakura, nearly crashing into the other with alarming force. As it was, Soi Fon barely missed dropping the box of items.

"Yachiru-chan!" Soi Fon scolded, half-glaring at the small, pink haired nuisance. That was twice now that she'd nearly dropped stuff. The irritated Soi Fon put the box down, then blinked. She picked up an unlabelled can. It was about the size of a can of beetroot, and had no markings on it at all. "Now where'd this come from?" She murmured softly, puzzled as to where the can had come from.

"Oh! Oh! Can I have it Soi-san?" Yachiru asked, bouncing up and down, waving her arms to grab the other's attention.

Soi Fon shrugged, why not? It wasn't like they could be dangerous, could they?

As the handed the energetic lieutenant, she felt a shiver. Suddenly it didn't seem such a good idea, but Yachiru was already gone, dragging the boom box with her.

Soi Fon had no idea of the horror she had just unleashed onto Soul Society. Mercy be to all those that dared drink anything near Yachiru.

Holed up in her room, Yachiru yanked the top of the can off, slightly disappointed to see that the contents accumulated to merely some pills. She sighed a little, then pulled one out, studying it with very little interest. She wondered vaguely what the pills were for.

'_I wonder what'd happen if I gave these to someone?'_ She thought, scratched her head. Hmm, that seemed like a good idea. It might show what they were for too.

She picked out three pills altogether, holding them carefully, then stashing the can away, where no one could find it.

She made her way through the squad area, searching out three people; Kenpachi, Cue Ball and the weird eyebrows guy. She was in luck. They were all drinking some tea. Quick as a flash, she dropped a pill in each cup, then sat down next to Kenpachi, innocently fiddling with her boom box, waiting to see what would happen.

After five minutes and nothing happening, Yachiru frowned. "Aww…..no fun. Stupid pills," she muttered, pressing play on the boom box. All of a sudden, a ballet song played, and she blinked. It was strange music, but interesting as well.

She heard a weird thump and looked up, blinking in shock. The three she'd put pills in their drinks were dancing to the music. As in _dancing_ dancing. They were pirouetting and everything.

She giggled, watching Kenpachi dance around the room, hands in the air, one leg bent and resting against the other. It was a spectacle indeed.

She grinned, guessing what the cause of it all was. She liked the pills; they were fun and already an idea was forming.

Yachiru turned the boom box off, which resulted in the three men instantly stopping their ridiculous dance routine. They blinked, staring at each other. Not a word was said as Yachiru skipped out of the room, humming the tune of the ballet song.

"We're never to speak of this," Kenpachi growled, glaring at the other two. Both of them nodded, both of them embarrassed and somewhat red in the face. "Never," they chorused.

"Who can I give the pills to next?" Yachiru asked, disappearing into her room, re-emerging with the pills in tow. This would be fun.

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**Sora:** So? What did y'all think? There will be another one for this, since I still have a few more characters I want to pick on, but I'd love some feedback guys, so let me here it!

**Read and Review PLEASE!!!!! **


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